I lit the candle.
I watched.
I watched the candle.
I heard it groan,
I felt its moan,
I saw it flicker,
I heard it sigh,
I watched it almost die.
I watched my breath sway the flame
As it flickered hesitantly,
Writhing,
Trying to decide if to live or die,
Or die to live.
I watched the flame go higher,
I watched the flame go lower,
Trying to decide if it was worthwhile,
Unsure whether the pool of wax beneath
Could hold the weight
Of the heat to come.
I watched the flame grow black,
I watched the wick shrink,
I watched the flame grow brighter,
And the wax go down and down.
I watched it dip,
I watched it drip into bloodless
Vein-like formations.
I watched in fear.
I watched the candle as
I breathed slowly
Till the last glimmer
Drowned in a pool of wax.
December 17, 1996
Etti Kirshner is a retired teacher who was raised in Jaffa, Israel. These poems are part of an unpublished collection written by her in 1996.